HOW SECURITY ORGANS WISH TO SEE THE NEWS ON jORDAN TELEVISION..)))))

BY : KHAIRI JANBEK.

Jordanian official has left on the first leg of his trip abroad. Upon arrival to a secret location in the viccinity of Washington, he was met by Eagle 1(president Obama..not to be mentioned), Pigeon 1 ( Mrs. Obama not to mementioned) and little birds 1 and 2 (Obama girls ; not to be mentioned). Also at the airport there were many equivelant ranks to our "Pashas", as well as excellencies.

On the way to Falcon Crest (White House not to be mentioned), many civilians were lining up the streets which were carefully covered and under control; cheering and waving Jordanians Flags. When the meeting started between the "two principles", Jordanian official praised the administration of Eagle 1 in its efforts of privitisation, eradication of corruption, and respect for human rights, and offered Jordanian guidance in this respect. In turn, Eagle 1, declared the stability of the USA is from the stability of Jordan, and in a nice gesture, threw at the feet of Jordanian official all the land and property deeds [Gawasheen]; as a signal of total support to the Jordaniab economy, and instructed someone in a grey suit attending the meeting, and whom seems to know alot about economics, to tie a pipe beteween the Jordan and America treasuries. Jordanian official thanked him gracefully.

On the second leg of the trip abroad; Jordanian official arrived at location two in Europe, where he was recieved by He-man (president Sarkozy; must not be mentioned), and She-woman (Mrs. Sarkozy; mustn't be mentioned) and were all on their knees with the an entourage of the equivelant of our " Pashas" and Excellencies, awaiting to be blessed by a handshake from Jordanian official.

On the various routes, which were continuelly changed as dictated by us; the valiant lot, many French people of all roots and origins and religions, lined up the avenues shouting (In soul and blood we sacrifice for you Jordanian official) in french of course, all the way to the location where there are many expensive shops.

Upon the start of the official talks, Jordanian official expressed satisfaction with the way He-man is running his country, and praised him for learnign from the Jordanian experience, and promised him that the UNESCO; where the fate of Jerusalem is discussed, will be always supported with a Jordanian delegate from the Ministry of Education, selected as a third rate employee and in accordance with the best traditions of the country; without knowledge of any language, and expertise in women and variety of drinks, as well offered a present of earning the well earned money of thousands of dollars, which the Jordanian tax payer is very happy to pay a genius like that. He-man thanked Jordanian official for the continued appointment of such great quality cultural representative, and promised to continue working with Jordan on the basis of true love and affection.

While at lunch, in an undisclosed lcoation but where the expensive shops are (French share3 el wakalaat), Jordanian official made a call to a European woman who is a leader of a major country in the EU, and apologised that this time he will not be able to grace her with a visit to her country. European woman leader, thanked Jordanian official and asked for a delegation from the Jordanian anti-corruption to come and guide the affairs of her country where they produce BMWs and Mercedes in bulk, and promised to uphold Jordan's position for a solution to the palestinian problem based on two states. After a successful trip, covered with garlands and flowers, Jordanian official returned home (last minute notice for those coming to the airport).

On the local scene, Jordanian offcial took a surprise trip to the area where it was; the frontlines with Israel. The inhabitant civilians in the zone, complained that government corruption has deprived them from the good quality chlorine which they use in their own private swimming pools, and demanded and inquest. Of course, the minister acknowledged to Jordanian official, that every single inhabitant in that area, has the right to swim in his own clean swimming pool, and sunbathe at his/her own liesure. Good quality chlorine is promised to be sent to those lovely swimming pools.

Also, on another trip to some undisclosed locations in the country, Jordanians have been caught red-handed being in poverty. Still the accompanying delegation assured Jordanian offcial that; if these people are hungry and poor, then it is their own fault, as they must be working for some foreign agenda to make Jordan look bad in front of foreigners.

Finally, in an undisclosed location, Jordanian offical opened a touristic site somewhere in the country. The ribbon which was supposed to be cut, was crimson red and the pride of Jordanian textile industry, while the pair of scissors were assmebled in Jordan under Chinese license, as part of a partnership agreement which all its clauses, were absolutely fabourable to Jordan. The news ends, with the song " Bikkttub issmek ya bladi..."